Shifting from Survivor of Gun Violence to Thriver of Life

Exactly 4, 015 days ago, my father threatened to end my life with a loaded gun. In other words, 11 years ago I was almost killed. Within those 11 years, I have climbed corporate ladders, spoiled my mom with sponsored trips around the world, crossed many finish lines (including Ironman), seen therapists, worked with coaches,Continue reading “Shifting from Survivor of Gun Violence to Thriver of Life”

Bittersweet beginnings

A few years ago I decided to break my silence. I didn’t know what I was walking into. I just knew when I told friends in private, it did not result in safe situations. My options were to continue to ignore the darkness, embrace more darkness or expose all of the darkness in public. TheContinue reading “Bittersweet beginnings”

The Universe is cheeky & magical

What seeds are being watered? What truths are being accepted? What story am I telling myself today? Valid questions that deserve time for pause. Or time for action. But really, it’s a moment to reflect. I trust the Universe. I trust myself. I trust that things are far more magical than I give credit. I’mContinue reading “The Universe is cheeky & magical”

It’s time to stop running & start planting roots

I’ve been thinking of ways to acknowledge this season of healing and celebrate my existence. This tattoo symbolises so many things… the pictures capture just about every single emotion possible… I love my bio family with something fierce. My love will never fade. I’m OK that they do not love me in a way that IContinue reading “It’s time to stop running & start planting roots”

The day my childhood bedroom turned into a crime scene.

The crime: domestic violence The weapon: a loaded gun The victim: me (the daughter) The motive: unprocessed pain? uncontrolled anger? Tempers flying was the norm. “I’m not yelling! You want to hear yelling?!” was a regular tagline. So was, “Stop it or I’ll give you something to cry about.” We had good days but man,Continue reading “The day my childhood bedroom turned into a crime scene.”

Is suicide selfish or does humanity lack empathy?

***I wrote this on November 13th, 2017. It was part of my NaNoWriMo challenge. I shared my waking thoughts for 30 days as an effort to embrace ALL emotions. I’ve been conditioned not to share anything other than smiles and laughter. So I guess I didn’t think I should have shared this as it couldContinue reading “Is suicide selfish or does humanity lack empathy?”

Letter of Gratitude: Dad

Dear Dad, I’m not sure how we got here but I want you to know that you are loved. I wouldn’t change anything from the first 20 years. You were supportive, present, encouraging, protective and my favorite teacher. You were my hero. I admire the unwavering support that you showed towards me and our familyContinue reading “Letter of Gratitude: Dad”

Hoovering? Love Bombing? … who knows?! It’s just another manipulation.

When I date someone, I start a shoebox for relationship keepsakes. When the relationship ends, the box turns into a bag. The bag gets chucked into my closet. I shared this quirk with some friends and they wanted to open the bags… They thought it was clever and sentimental but odd. Looking back, I’ve datedContinue reading “Hoovering? Love Bombing? … who knows?! It’s just another manipulation.”

Focusing on the Good does not mean Forgetting the Bad.

“You wouldn’t know how we feel. You come from White Privilege.” “Your life is just so perfect. You’ve never had to deal with hardship.” “Everything is just so easy for you. Pretty girl privilege.” Last week, these were statements made to me when I tried to discuss ways to move forward (solutions). My opinion, theseContinue reading “Focusing on the Good does not mean Forgetting the Bad.”

Poem: Do you know how it feels

Do you know how it feels when every part of your being says NO but your heart says JUST ONE MORE CHANCE Do you know how it feels when you use language like “You need help” or “You are embarrassing yourself” Do you know how it feels not being able to SLEEP because your mindContinue reading “Poem: Do you know how it feels”