Progress in my re-wiring: the acceptance of a familiar soul vs a kindred soul

So many thoughts swirling through my head and so many emotions tugging at my heartstrings. I wouldn’t say I’m conflicted. I’m growing. I’m pulling myself out of a cycle that I’m all too familiar with… I’m observing. A conversation with a kindred spirit (my favourite well wisher) reminded me of another subtlety. Most of theContinue reading “Progress in my re-wiring: the acceptance of a familiar soul vs a kindred soul”

Awareness Saved My Life

I’m a 30 something-year-old Chitalian-American that has spent the last decade living and working in Asia. I’m rarely without some sort of stretch goal. This current chapter is addressing 13 years of emotional & mental abuse from a family member. Mental wellness is close to my heart. I intentionally focus on the wellness rather thanContinue reading “Awareness Saved My Life”

Dear Biological Father, Please stop.

Dear Biological Father, I know you are hurting. I know that you are in pain. I know that you are failing with tools to manage your pain. I still do not agree with how you continue to lash out at other people, but I understand. A number of people told me to cut my lossesContinue reading “Dear Biological Father, Please stop.”

Healing is a painful process, just breathe and continue building

Worth a look. Worth a comparison. Rather than write letters of gratitude. I looked inward. I searched for my reaction or response. I wanted to compare notes. I needed to see IF I was actually progressing. I needed to validate if I am still healing. Am I reacting the same way? Is the rewiring working?Continue reading “Healing is a painful process, just breathe and continue building”

‘Tell me your past so I know how best to love you in the present’ – Unknown

Through my healing journey, I have acknowledged that my sharing made me feel extremely disconnected to the outside world. I had so many emotions and things bubbling up on the inside that sometimes my posts are all over the place. That’s the beauty of a blog. It doesn’t really have to make sense. Nothing isContinue reading “‘Tell me your past so I know how best to love you in the present’ – Unknown”

9 skills learned from Emotional Abuse

I had a few heavy posts so thought I’d mix it up with something light-hearted. Abuse sucks monkey balls. It’s not fun. There is a lot of second-guessing, deflated sense of self, crying, isolation… all sorts of heavy consequences from abuse. But what is the silver lining? What skills were strengthened through the storms? AttitudeContinue reading “9 skills learned from Emotional Abuse”

My Eulogy

There are so many emotions around sharing this piece with the world. I actually wrote it last summer and asked a dear friend to read it in the event I was murdered. Even if we lost touch, I made him PROMISE to be the one to read my words. At that moment, I needed peopleContinue reading “My Eulogy”

Emotional Resilience: My recovery cycle – from 3 weeks to 18 hours !

OVERVIEW An abuser will come out to play and try to start trouble in my lane. They will say things to get me to question my reality. They will plant seeds to get me to question my sanity. They will plant a seed to get me to question who I can trust. Emotional abuse isContinue reading “Emotional Resilience: My recovery cycle – from 3 weeks to 18 hours !”

Sometimes I fail to find the silver lining

I pride myself on being able to find the silver lining in all situations. I take great joy in spreading love and positive vibes into the Universe. I’m even very mindful that talking about my pain will attract additional pain. But what happens during the storm?  Sometimes I talk in code. I talk in codeContinue reading “Sometimes I fail to find the silver lining”

Self-Care Challenge: What do I love about me?

Challenge accepted. This question was posed by a friend on the interwebs. I’ve been actively processing narcissistic abuse. Some days I remember my inner awesome but most days, I question IF there is anything to love about myself. The rebuild of Self is hard. I ask myself: Am I far enough in my healing journeyContinue reading “Self-Care Challenge: What do I love about me?”