You gave love freely and without agenda. You simply loved & You loved really hard.

Dear Jess,

This year was one for the books. It’s a year that defined you in so many ways. A few weeks ago, you described the year in a single word BETRAYAL. I’d like to correct you. The year can be summed up with a different word, LOVE.

You found love where it didn’t exist. You created it. You harnessed it. You turned inward. You embraced it. You dug to the deepest part of your soul. You turned clouds into rainbows. You did the difficult thing. You processed. You healed. You found your light. You created magic.

This year could have hardened your heart, but you increased your awareness and created healthy boundaries. You embraced everything with absolute fullness. Some people tried to break you… you fell a few times. You stumbled a lot… And that’s OK because you always got back up! I’m so proud of you! Man did you love. You loved so hard this year. You loved people that didn’t know you. You loved people that tried to harm you. You loved people that didn’t love themselves. You loved everyone.

You gave love freely and without agenda. You simply loved and you loved hard!

Something happened where you finally remembered to love yourself. You finally realised the importance of putting yourself back in the driver’s seat. You loved others with something fierce but you loved yourself with something gentle. Being gentle with yourself hasn’t been the easiest. Especially since everyone has an opinion on how to feel, what to say, how to heal… and how to just be. Sometimes, you entertained the critics. Sometimes the inner critics and the external critics double teamed you. A few battles were lost but you won the war. The war of keeping a soft heart. A war to forgive others. A war to forgive yourself. A war for inner peace.

You made some questionable decisions this year. A few that did not serve your highest good. But they did. each decision was exactly what you needed at that exact moment. You often assumed that in the context of season, reason, lifetime that everyone was a lifetime… that’s OK to hold space in your heart for others but never assume they hold space in theirs for you. This was probably the most difficult lesson of the year; reciprocal love. During a time of recalibrating your mind, your body, and your spirit, a few cheeky monkeys snuck in. They caused you harm. You assumed it was not intentional but it was. People always know what they are doing. Ignorance is a choice and despite foul play, you found ways to forgive. Hurt people are not allowed to hurt others. You wished them well on their journey. You found ways to let go. You did this for you, not them. And for that, others might have betrayed you but you never betrayed them OR yourself. You chose love. Every single time, you chose love.

I know you will continue to choose love. Because that’s what you do. You find the good in everyone. You sprinkle love in random places. You know what to do before others know what is happening. You are finally in a space where you can trust your judgement. It doesn’t matter how others treat you because you are in a space of love. Pure love. You have been purging all feels. Explaining all the feels. Embracing all the feels. Articulating all the feels. And now it’s time to let go of all the feels.

When you are in Asia, you know how to connect without getting attached. You know how to give without catching feels. You know how to make others feel seen. And now you are merging your worlds. The Jess in Asia, the magical abundance mindset Jess in Asia finally connected with the healing Jess in the USA.

I’m so proud of you. This year was challenging in so many ways. So many ways. The biggest accomplishment, even though it hurts to admit, is that you love a family that does not love you. It’s OK. It’s OK because you love yourself. It’s OK because you created magic. It’s OK because home is where people love you… and you finally accepted that home is not a physical place but it’s a space where people love you. Unconditionally. Unquestionably. Fully.

‘You have to know the past to understand the present.’ This journey of self-discovery was such a turbulent chapter but you are a better human being because of it. Thank you for always choosing love. Thank you for finally choosing you. Always remember that the best love is self-love.

Sincerely and proudly,
You Soul

#WhyIWrite #MentalWellness #DomesticViolence #EmotionalAbuse #CoreWork #Recovery #Rewiring #Healing #Growing #LettersToSelf #Gratitude #Light #Love #NarcissisticAbuse #DysfunctionalFamily #Psychopath #Relationships #HealthyBoundaries #BeYourOwnHero #JourneyToPeace

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