Mental Health: Reflecting on stability

One of the challenges of the month is to push out words, daily. The easiest time for me to push out words is when I first wake up. When I catch myself in the space between sleeping and awake. It’s when I am in flow. When my conscious mind allows my subconscious to take the lead. But isn’t the subconscious always really in the lead anyways? I’m not sure…

May is mental health awareness month. I know the Universe is testing me. I know that people are crossing my path as a means to test the progression of my healing. When I have explosive reactions, it’s a space that I need more love. When I have a cluttered mind or a heavy heart, it’s because I’m in a space that is not meant for me. Being honest with myself is difficult. I much prefer to think that everyone is normal (and healthy). I much prefer bringing people into Jess world where love and kindness are the norm. A magical place where I’m free to be whatever I need to be. Most of the time, it’s not wanting to be the perfect friend/daughter/sister/colleague or whatever. It’s being able to share my emotions and innermost thoughts. To be honoured and on the rare occasion even celebrated. Surrounded by people that know how to speak to my heart. This is the essence of Jess World. I’m still in the process of (re)building. Not many deserve a spot in Jess World. Sometimes it takes me a few weeks to come to my senses.

Today. I celebrate. I honour myself. I pause to reflect on all the execution (building) that I have been doing in the real world as opposed to in my mental/emotional world (cough cough here in my blog).

August – I walked away from biological dysfunction. It was one of the most difficult decisions to make but in all honesty, it wasn’t even about making a decision, it was about accepting a truth. A truth that despite my desire for love, certain places simply do not have it. The place I called home was no longer a place where I was loved or welcomed.

September – I danced around a bit. I was chasing something but not really sure what I was chasing. During the confusion, I found another version of myself. I started to fall in love with the small things that make me, me. I made a decision to stand my ground.

October – I low key launched my coaching business. I expanded my online presence. Linkedin went from 2k to 14k connections. I expanded my professional network through daily engagement and created videos. This was huge… my first time making (and publishing) videos online. Spirit fingers. hahahaha

November – I wanted to start building skills for my stretch goal. The stretch goal is to open a B&B. It’s called my Sacred Space and it’s a place for people to disconnect from society to reconnect with self. I will not offer formal classes but I will promise a space where people can do their work without fear of any physical/emotional/spiritual external disharmony. I’ll have 9 chickens, 4 goats, and a donkey. Step 2 in this process is to build skills in the restaurant. So I started working in a corporate restaurant. Skill building.

December – this was a difficult month. Acknowledging that it’s a month that I was born and also a month where my own father tried to end my life (2004 by strangulation and 2009 by loaded gun). This was a month that I disengaged with most things to take care of myself. Days filled with extra love, self-love. Also, a month where I upgraded my skill learning from corporate restaurants to family run. I secured a job at the #1 Chinese restaurant in the city. New set of learning, Chinese style.

January – All about the grind. I re-launch my consulting business. The seeds planted in Linkedin started bearing fruits. I started getting requests for strategy work. Juggling a bunch of things. Coaching business is consistent. I have clients in 20 countries by this point. I decide to only work with people for 6 sessions. My time is split. Weekly allocation. 5 hours (coaching). 10 hours (strategy consulting). 50 hours (restaurant). Focused on my north star so it’s easy to grind. Somehow I manage 2 full day workshops for Zumba. All about the skill building and wanting another tool in my box.

February – quiet. kind of. breathe. Restaurant pulled me into 70 hours/week.

March – I shook up my system. The learning in the restaurant shifted from skill building to people management. This was no longer my space. I disengaged and refocused on dog-walking. Life is simple. Peaceful. I’m being pulled into Zumba. Most of the people in my social space are either crossfit or zumba. It’s comforting… My time is split once again. Weekly allocation. 6 hours (coaching). 10-15 hours (strategy consulting). 7 hours (dog walking).

April – finding my groove with having all my extra hours back. Allowing my soul to rest. Continuing to build my coaching business. I have clients in 40 countries. Life Coaching. Resilience Coaching. I simply tell people that I help them bounce back from adversity as fast as possible. Life is still simple. A few curve balls.  My time is fully integrated. Weekly. 7 hours (coaching). 12 hours (strategy consulting). 6 hours (dog-walking). 8 hours (social media – linkedin/IG). I open my heart for dating…

May – It’s time to shake up my system once again. I’m getting comfortable. I put out the intentions to do something with Zumba. I’m offered a job with a gym in the heart of the city. Teaching Zumba and Strong by Zumba. My time is fully integrated. Weekly. coaching. strategy consulting. dog-walking. zumba. social media.

…My mind starts off clean and throughout the day, it starts to get noisy. And when I remember the power in the pause. My life is filled with things that activate different parts of my soul. To be present. To love. To think. To build. To just be…

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #MentalHealth #Wellness #EmotionalWellness #Resilience #FailForward #IntentionalLiving #SelfCare #Building #LifeCoach #Strategy #Consultant #Recovery

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