Dear Spirit, Thank you for being

Dear Spirit,

Thank you. This season has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever embraced. It was bigger than climbing corporate ladders. It was scarier than moving to a new country. It was emotionally, mentally, and spiritually destabilizing… There were moments when I wasn’t sure if I had lost the plot or if I was still on the right path.

I was forced to destroy my entire core belief system and rebuild myself from the bottom up. I had to constantly challenge my thinking and brainwash myself at cell level. I had to identify, accept, rewire, and break toxic cycles to heal.

This challenge got messy. Really, really messy.

The one thing that stayed constant is you. Even during my darkest hour, you flickered. When others tried to snuff you out, you held your ground. When the walls came crashing down, you stood tall. When the dysfunction increased, you remained still.

So thank you. Thank you for just being. Being present. Being strong. Being soft. Being supportive. Being protective. Being confrontational. Being gentle. Being forgiving. Being understanding. Being firm. Being fair. Being love. Being light. Being honest. Being brave. Being resilient…

Your being allowed me to be gentle on myself. At least by my standards. Others still think I have room for improvement in this space. But yes, your being has afforded me the space to heal. You were the quiet whisper to just.keep.going. You were the creator of the affirmations to assure me that I’m never alone. Heck, you were even the one that kept reminding me it’s OK to trust others. Despite everything, the secret to healing is to never stop trying. You encouraged me to keep putting myself out there, day after day, just keep sharing whatever is in my heart. Share the good. Share the bad. Share the ugly. Eventually, all the pieces will fall into place.

Processing deep seeded pain is one thing. Realising that your support network was more interested in you remaining a victim rather than becoming a survivor was devastating. Your ability to mediate between my head and my heart was incredibly valuable. The tug of war between these two was often. Your intervention was difficult to understand at times but I trusted you, blindly. You have never steered me wrong so I didn’t think this challenge would be any different. So thank you.

Thank you for knowing what to do when I was flapping like a fish out of water. Thank you for having my best interest in mind. Thank you for knowing that going through the difficult stuff is the only way to get past it. Because of your strength, I was able to sit [relatively] still and embrace all these lessons. Seek all these truths. Heal the deepest wounds. Find my voice. Build my confidence. Connect with my tribe of love bugs.

Every few years, I embrace a new stretch goal. A challenge that I cannot do when I set my intention but I know I will always be able to grow into and complete because of your presence. This specific challenge was to save my own life.

Thank you for being… simply being present as I navigated through family abuse. Being present as I opened my wounds to heal. Domestic Violence is an ugly thing but you helped me find the beauty. The beauty is in the strength [and presence] of your unshakable being.

Thank you, dear spirit, for simply being…

With love and so much gratitude,
Jess

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