Every once in a while, I connect with a pure soul. Lumpy bits, perhaps, but pure in every single capacity. The pureness is with the looks, the grabs, the intended and the unintended moments. It’s skipping down the street whilst complimenting my excitement from the colors dancing across the sky. It’s sending me a song dedication that touches places in my heart that I was trying to keep hidden. It’s offering a finger grab when the energy shifts because you can feel me slipping into a vulnerable state and you simply want me to know that being vulnerable is the bravest things in the world and it’s OK because you are present. It’s asking questions on how I want a situation to be handled. It’s laughing at my nose wrinkle and insisting that I snort when something tickles my funny bone. It’s being disarming and giving me reasons to feel safe and simply giggle.
Most of all, it’s experiencing our first fight and you patiently waiting for me to wake up so you can apologize for the disharmony. It’s knowing to take pictures of the random moments and even more importantly, sharing these pictures before I have to ask for them! Some of the pictures are moments that I was not even aware of (you are such a sneaky cameraman)… thank you for catching those glimpses of Jess World. I absolutely love getting lost in my own world.
Pure souls can also bust my chops with laughter and call me out when I express moments of complete and utter delusion towards self. For instance, when I say silly things like, “I simply do not like talking to people anymore!” and you call me out because I can literally extract someone’s life story whilst stopped at a traffic light. You pay attention to the quirks that I sometimes feel embarrassed about. Celebrating these quirks helps me feel whole. They help me love myself as I should. They help my programming of making sure Jess in the USA is the same Jess that fearlessly galavants around the world. (Being in the USA, I’m still working through some pain. Pain of being rejected by my bio family… so being embraced by you is absolutely magical in so many ways).
Thank you for having a kind heart. Thank you for being a pure soul.
I find that everyone is brought onto my path to either remind me of my inner strength or to help me heal. I know that your presence makes me feel stronger, more whole. Being reminded that there are decent men in the world and not everything with a penis should be dismissed. I still think men shouldn’t be trusted but your presence and awareness of healthy boundaries is something that I not only need but am very grateful for. Respecting my needs before your wants helps me heal in so many ways…
Every once in a while, life decides to overwhelm me with a bunch of lessons and I finally hit a stride where I can be my soft-hearted self without concern of another human being making life harder than it needs to be.
Admittedly, I’m kind of salty that you didn’t help me move my things into storage but I can accept because we ended up challenging a few other aspects of my being. Instead of fixing the old, you pulled me into your world of creating new. And deep down, that’s exactly what I needed. That’s what my heart needed. That’s what my soul needed.
And now I have a sweet little personal declaration on my right wrist that will remind me of not only my own inner strength but also that it’s OK to trust others… For every teacher, there will always be another kindred soul that knows how to support a healing heart… This support is only because you went through your own storm and understand the value in simply being present. Nothing more, nothing less.
Thank you for being gentle with my heart and allowing me all these soft moments. Thank you for recognizing all the screams during the silence. Thank you for reminding me that sweat is fat crying and tears are simply the soul healing…
When I want to be invisible, thank you for holding space for me to just be. Thank for loving me as I pick up my pieces and continue to strengthen the love I have for myself.
I appreciate you on so many levels…
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