Today, I have an all-day meditation sit. Vipassana. The month has been filled with a number of shifts. I’ve stayed ahead of the shifts, mentally, emotionally, spiritually… and now it’s time to rebalance and make sure my cup of love is filled to the brim.
Meditation, in general, has been so powerful. Meditating allows me to create space for myself. Space to listen to my heart. Space to follow my gut. Space to observe the chatter in my head. Setting a priority to be the awareness behind my thoughts and emotions. Awareness before change.
Last night, I didn’t sleep well. My subconscious was very noisy. I woke up around 3am. My physical world is filled with magic. I’m in a new coaching programme, I’m getting new clients (coaching and dog care), people surfacing from my past, tests of all sorts. Some of the tests, I’m passing with flying colours and others I’m reminded of the importance of being gentle with myself. Each test offers an opportunity to use my voice and challenge my loyalty to self. Self-Care.
When waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes I dip into social media. Today, I opted to check facebook. Facebook has been my canvas for open healing (in addition to my blog). My fb community is still mixed with baby vampires and kindred souls. I opt to keep a handful of baby vampires around to help me build resilience. Part of me thinks that it’s time to just cut them loose. One of my text messages yesterday afternoon said “unless someone is making my soul feel good or adding value to my bank account, I really don’t have the energy hahaha.”
I’m in the process of levelling up. Again. I launched a bunch of hustles and now I’m in a season of expansion. My coaching hustle is expanding from Life to Health/Nutrition (and becoming ICF certified). My dog walking hustle is expanding from walking to sitting. My zumba hustle is a bit of a wildcard – I’m headed to Florida for convention in a few weeks. I intend to sip the kool-aid. So coming back, I’ll either be working at a gym that made me an offer in May OR I’ll shift my attention and start working at another gym. Either way, I’ll be hosting my very own classes. I’ll also get another zumba license in Florida. I’m all about the skill up life! My consulting hustle is on the backburner as I’m going to consolidate my coaching and consulting. My end goal is to be hired by a company as a Health & Wellness Coach. There are SO MANY Corporate Coaches that focus on creating powerful executives. How many coaches are focused on harmony? Goal crushing is so easy once you are in harmony with yourself. I define power as inspiring others to greatness, not just making money.
Another expansion is public speaking. I have a handful of offers on the table for podcasts and stage type situations. India. Dubai. Japan. Some of the gigs are in the mental wellness space and others dance around mental wellness. I’m blessed to have so many things happening. Like I said, I’m in a season of expansion.
This meditation day sit is at perfect timing. Last week, my solution to embrace this season of expansion was to take a 3-week road trip. Time and space. Perspective. Quiet the noise. Open roads. Get lost in the flow. And now, I’m doing a day-sit. Volunteering to help set up the event. AND I’m still going on my road trip. A few friends have asked to join me. Their intentions might be pure but my priority is time with myself. One of the double-edged swords of having a spiritual awakening is the need for solitude. I require great amounts of solitude. It’s only during these moments am I truly sure that I’m on the right path and doing what’s in my heart.
The month has been filled with people pulling me a bunch of ways. Criticising my life choices. Clouded by their own pain that they are simply projecting all sorts of nonsense. Perhaps jealously of my ability to pack up and leave? Perhaps my vulnerability makes them want to ‘protect me’ or is it control me?!
A few weeks ago, I confronted my housemate. I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable at our home anymore. I gave him my notice. I’m still mourning this friendship. I miss my friend and his puppy. I accept that living my truth and also sharing my feelings sometimes results in people rejecting me. Establishing boundaries with people sometimes works out and sometimes does not. Such is life. Ebs and flows.
The external chatter undermines my continued growth. Rather than congratulations for using my voice, I’m still greeted with ‘Jess, you need to sort out your life.’ or ‘Jess, you can’t keep moving around like this.’ or ‘Jess, how can you be a life coach when your life is unstable?’ Again, perhaps well-intentioned but to me, these are all projections. Like I said, I’m in a season of expansion. I’ve outgrown my surroundings and I’m being unapologetic about my growth.
If anything, I’m honouring my growth. And also my self-care. Rather than stay where I’m tolerated, I’m on a mission to stay where I’m honoured. Loved. and Respected.
Why should I settle for anything less than pure freaking magic?
#MentalWellness #EmotionalAbuse #Trauma #Recovery #SelfCare #Integrity #Love #JourneyToPeace