Before you get excited, I’m going to start by saying this concept is not what you think.
As someone that has kept my family dysfunction, my family abuse, my brokenness, VERY private, I have learned a few things about sharing my pain. I have been joking about this concept for a few days so thought it was time to bust out an unconscious stream of words to explain what I mean.
I am a phenomenal woman. I’m a packaged deal. I’m smart, I’m well travelled, I have a good heart… and I take care of my body. I can still fit into my prom dress! (Mind.Body.Spirit is on point).
I’m also a relatively conservative girl. I am easily upset when objectified. I do not understand aggressive sexual energy. I am also very intentional with how someone is allowed into my space. Is this a lover? Boyfriend? Helping me through a storm? Everyone serves a purpose. Everyone fills a need.
A lot of boys have tried to fake friendship. A lot of boys have tried to dominate my body rather than capture my heart. I realise, by sharing this, a hand full of phenomenal women will be upset because I’m basically telling boys what not to do. But my intention is to call out all these predatory boys who think they have a magical penis.
The magical penis does not exist. Truth.
If a girl decides to share her pain with you, just be present. Don’t offer her an alcoholic drink. She’s already emotional, why add drunkenness to the mix? That’s recipe for terrible decisions that will only benefit you. Do not be a predator. Remember, your penis is NOT magical.
If a girl decides to share her secrets, don’t put your arm around her unless she asks for a hug. Chances are, depending on the pain, she will punch you in the face. You need to be on high alert with respecting boundaries. Do not be a predator. Remember, your penis is NOT magical.
If a girl decides that you are worthy of knowing her softest bits, never use that knowledge against her. She might not realise your level of dysfunction at the moment of sharing but rest assured, once she balances herself out, your name will be dragged through the dirt as a sexual predator. No one wants to be known for taking advantage of a vulnerable girl. Do not be a predator. Remember, your penis is NOT magical.
If a girl decides to share something personal with you, it means she thinks she can trust you. You are already a step ahead of the others so please take this honour very serious. Be smart. She’s granting you access to the VIP part of her being. Do not be a predator. Remember, your penis is NOT magical.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve re-framed this phenomenon as #PrettyGirlProblems #DaddyIssues #FuckBoysUnite #NiceBoysDoNotExist and for a few years, I only shared personal stories with guys I thought were gay. True story. One time, I even asked a guy on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay are you? I asked if he’s been gay from the start or if he’s ever been with a woman. I was worried about converting him. Boys thinking they have a magical penis has been a serious issue.
At the end of the day, most of the guys I confide in are in different countries. Since the physical aspect is removed, I cannot be clouded by root chakra energy. Another benefit is I can remain in my heart chakra space (vulnerable) which is actually the best for embracing emotions to ultimately heal. The worst thing for a healing journey is having to jump back and forth between vulnerable and defensive. That’s part of emotional abuse. The yo-yo feeling.
The message in my heart is simple. If a girl trusts you, please respect her vulnerability. Be a safe harbour. You are in the running for something much more than a one nighter. Remember your penis is not magical. Listen to her needs. Help her get back on the right track. A good woman will unlock so many doors for you. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, professionally… the magic in capturing her heart is limitless.
Always remember, your penis is NOT magical.