My toolbox is constantly expanding. I was first introduced to Reiki in 2009 or 2010. I was in Singapore and having dinner with a friend. We were celebrating my birthday and started having a conversation about chakras. My friend commented how I had a strong bond with the spiritual world. He was testing his theory by creating uncomfortable situations. Each time I felt threatened, I subconsciously called on my grandfather for help. Without hesitation, my grandfather [spirit] showed up. To me, it felt like a warm blanket. To my friend, it was a spiritual presence warning him to back off.
I’m well aware this sounds looney tunes. I thought my friend was crazypants. He told me I need to work on harnessing my inner light so my grandfathers could enjoy the next realm in peace. He compared me to a lighthouse. He said that until I learn how to close my chakras, I would attract both positive and negative energy. Similar to a lighthouse. Considering this was my introduction to the spiritual space, it’s understandable why it took me so long to surrender.
For the longest time, I struggled to understand non-tangible concepts.
Years passed. I still had the ability to fill a room with warmth and create safe places where complete strangers would share their life story. People regularly turned to me for help, personally and professionally. If triggered, I also knew how to make a room super cold. I loved my ability to spread the love with my light and I resented the darkness that seemingly came with the territory..? I thought I was just magnifying whatever energy was around me. Again, I needed to close my chakras.
As I increased my self-awareness, I noticed my circles filling with people in the spiritual healing space. I started noticing messages from the Universe. I didn’t think I was a healer but I knew how to make people feel less alone. I also knew how to make people believe in magic. On most days, I was even able to be at complete peace in a highly dysfunctional situation. Admittedly, I was operating in autopilot.
Then, in 2014, a perfect storm happened at a Vipassana retreat in Singapore. A few of the women were Reiki practitioners. I had plenty of questions. But still, I resisted the craft of Reiki. My mind was starting to open to this space. Still, I had my reservations.
In 2016, my space was clouded by someone practising black magic. I didn’t understand the energy but I could feel him trying to access me. It felt like someone punched me in the face and that caused a ripple effect/vibration down my body. I called a friend and he said, “I think you are being spiritually attacked.” He taught me how to cut cords and connect to the Earth (grounding). He also taught me a few visualisation techniques, mantras and how to cleanse my energy at the end of each day. Again, I thought my friend was crazypants. BUT still, I called him for help. I didn’t understand what was happening but I trusted him and followed his instructions. He helped me navigate this spiritual space…
Then last year, I needed to develop new skills. New tools. I was turning into my pain. I was acknowledging 13 years of emotional abuse and I needed help. I didn’t know what type of help I needed so I kept my mind clear. From unexpected places: A picture of a lighthouse; Random birds literally sitting next to me; Lack of interest to read another self-help book; Massive sensitivity to just about everything – food, tv, people, weather… sound. I felt things on vibrational levels. I googled holistic healing techniques and Reiki kept cropping up. My ears would perk up when other people used certain words. Meditation. Yoga. Gratitude. These circles all seem to have at least ONE person going on about the benefits of Reiki. But still, I thought of Reiki Masters as being healers. I wasn’t sure if that was my calling. But it was a season for developing new tools so I said why not? I surrendered.
I signed up for an online course. I learned the formal structure. I started practising on myself and then others. I currently use Reiki to help keep myself in a healthy space to add value when I’m dealing with other abuse survivors.
Each person is on their own journey. And the thing I love most about Reiki: energy does not lie. People can tell you what they believe to be true but energy cannot lie. The deeper I get in my own personal healing journey, the more value I find in helping others. The more confident I get with understanding the connectedness of it all, the more respect I have for the spiritual space. The Universe has immense power and the flow is incredible. The more I acknowledge that I’m merely a vessel that allows energy to run through me to help others, the closer I get to align with my true purpose.