MIA. Drug Dealers. White Skirts. Lovers.

Day 30. Freewriting. I remember the first time. The first time that I didn’t know what to do. I emailed my parents and assured them that I was OK. It was a lie because I really didn’t know what I wanted. I knew that I needed space. I couldn’t breathe. I walked through my 2-bedroomContinue reading “MIA. Drug Dealers. White Skirts. Lovers.”

Illness. Process. Purify. Project. Wellness.

Day 29. Freewriting. Thinking about mental wellness. I’ve shifted my thinking on mental wellness. The difference between ill to well is going from I to WE… takes a village. Kind of. Whether I am bipolar or not is kind of irrelevant. Whether I have anger issues is also irrelevant. So what if I wear myContinue reading “Illness. Process. Purify. Project. Wellness.”

Hurt is anger’s annoying neighbor

Day 28. Freewriting. Love is the strongest emotion I possess. Sometimes I think that anger is my go-to but every day I’m reminded that I’m just fooling myself and it’s actually LOVE. Love is my go to. Some people say that anger is the absence of love but I think that anger is actually hurtContinue reading “Hurt is anger’s annoying neighbor”

I hope. I hope. I hope.

Day 27. Freewriting. When it comes to me, I never hope. I just set a goal and refuse to stop until it’s accomplished. I fail forward. I fail often. Honestly, I believe the only true failure is giving up. Perhaps that’s why I struggle to let go. I think of it as a failure. MyContinue reading “I hope. I hope. I hope.”

Lawyers. Parenting. Loose lips and building blocks.

Day 26. Freewriting. I’m not even going to lie. This month has been super challenging. Welcoming my softer emotions is new territory. My typical way of dealing with pain (hurt) is to block all ways of contact. Part is because seeing the person that hurt me is unbearable. Part is because I don’t trust myself.Continue reading “Lawyers. Parenting. Loose lips and building blocks.”

Schedules. Transition DO : BE. Structure.

Day 25. Freewriting. Thinking about schedules and structure. How are they related to wellness? How have they contributed to my wellbeing? Making that shift from DO MODE to BE MODE. Generally speaking, my planning day is Monday. I have my planner in front of me and map out my entire week. Very rarely do IContinue reading “Schedules. Transition DO : BE. Structure.”

Food Coma. Quiet Mind. Countless Blessings.

Day 24. Freewriting. Oh my gosh!! I was too excited to sleep last night! Today is my FAVOURITE holiday (next to the 4th of July). It’s a day when sweatpants are acceptable, food is love, and the world has a dose of GRATITUDE. The house smells of pumpkin pie and roasting turkey! One only knowsContinue reading “Food Coma. Quiet Mind. Countless Blessings.”

Magic screams when the world is quiet.

Day 23. Freewriting. Feeling very blessed. VERY blessed. This current personal challenge of posting my morning thoughts has been terrifying and fulfilling. It’s allowed me to go deeper within myself without regard to being judged. I’m still conscious of the opinions of others but more or less used as a base to spot check myContinue reading “Magic screams when the world is quiet.”

Betrayal is such an ugly friend

 22. Freewriting. My body is having reactions and my mind hasn’t figured out why… yet. My sleep has been erratic the last 3 nights. My mind is clear. My tolerance is non-existent. I’m biting back to others. I cannot figure out why. What is the shadow emotion that is trying to come out…? *** It’sContinue reading “Betrayal is such an ugly friend”

Dear Mentally Unwell person, Thank you.

Day 21. Freewriting. My focus is all over the place and I need to get this off my chest. I will not name my specific abusers so I’m just going to lay it all out there. It’s not a single person but if you are reading and think you have wronged me, chances are youContinue reading “Dear Mentally Unwell person, Thank you.”