Magic screams when the world is quiet.

Day 23. Freewriting. Feeling very blessed. VERY blessed. This current personal challenge of posting my morning thoughts has been terrifying and fulfilling. It’s allowed me to go deeper within myself without regard to being judged. I’m still conscious of the opinions of others but more or less used as a base to spot check my progress as opposed to defending my journey. Someone recently commented on my talent for conveying my emotions through my writing. That’s a HUGE compliment. That’s one of my [many] goals of writing…  to allow my readers feel whatever I’m feeling.

***

Are feelings and emotions the same?!

There are so many ways to redirect and train the mind. I have an extremely strong mind. Once focused, it’s impossible to distract me. I’ve been able to re-wire myself more times than I care to admit. I’ve been able to thrive despite some rather diverse situations. Compartmentalization. It’s true, the outside world sees a happy/inspiring outward appearance with my operating mode being adrenaline. My mind has been trained to plan for the worst and hope for the best. On average I have 10-15 scenarios in my head of how a situation can end up. This allows for easy(ish) planning and execution. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. That’s my autopilot. Finding joy in the simple or silver lining in the toxic is also a talent.

***

Words cannot express what my heart feels. Is it love? Is it lust? Is it obsession? Is it home? Despite having so many words to express… words cannot capture the feeling in my heart. Perhaps that’s the beauty of feelings.

Sometimes silence is the best answer.

Sometimes a hug solves all problems.

Sometimes a beating heart is all I need.

I’m learning to feel my way through life. Heart center feels. I know that I’m reaching a new depth because I’m at a loss for words to express myself. Having a ready-made answer for everything is my norm… until recently.

Words are for emotions. Silence is for feelings.

***

I feel that my instinct is above average. I think my gut is flawless. Any time that I’ve ended up in a lopsided position is when my heart sneaks a seat at the table. Then the tug of war begins between my head and my heart. Instinctively, I know that means to walk away… but then I’m reminded of the saying ‘the heart wants what the heart wants.’

I learned my lesson and I’m going to stop rationalizing the reason… Everyone is a lifetime and for that, everyone will come back until I greet them with love, pure love. I’m grateful for the moments. The moments are what we string together for the magic. My jam is in the magic.

Words cannot express feelings. Feelings can be seen in the eyes. Feelings can be seen in a smile. Feelings can be a lot of things… but not understood with words. Emotions are neatly articulated, feelings are… magic.

#WhyIWrite #MentalWellness #SelfImprovement #Love #JourneyToPeace

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