Shifting from matrix thinking to well, non-matrix thinking is not easy. Most of the time, I feel crazy because I am going against decades of programming. Things that have been normalised are not always healthy things so the internal tug of war with what I know vs what I feel is a battle not to be taken lightly… I can say this with certainty because I spent about 20 years in the USA, lived in Asia for about 10 years and then moved back to the USA. Experiencing different perspectives on wellness (west – east – west) is incredible. External – Internal – External. Drugs – Holistic – Drugs. Wait, what is the opposite of holistic?! Some days, I cannot tell who is looney tunes, the matrix or the ones unplugged.
And then it happens. Someone is following my blog. Some words resonate. They need something but not 100% sure what they need. They look at my list of ways to collaborate. They cannot find anything specific that would work for them. They just know that they are struggling. Still looking for an external fix. They want to take products. They want a “to do” list to follow. They want me to give them answers and yet, I keep saying that the answer is within?! Vulnerability breeds vulnerability but, they want a roadmap. Action items to take. This is matrix thinking… I get it, I didn’t understand the importance of confronting my own garbage for the longest time. I thought people like me were fluffy because they talked about energy. And finding myself. I was always like I’M RIGHT HERE. I’M NOT LOST and yet I was… I just didn’t know it.
And then the potential client takes a deep breath and emails me. They fill out my contact form and request a 15 min phone chat. I accept.
During the phone chat, [some] clarity is achieved. The potential client felt at peace… they asked to bottle up my peace. They had a big presentation. They needed clarity. They asked if we could co-work together. Proximity was their need. To them, being around balanced energy was something worth paying for. They didn’t want me to do their presentation but they wanted me to be present whilst they finished their presentation. External to internal shift…
Another exchange. A longtime reader was once frustrated with my lack of healthy boundaries (easy to judge from the outside). Now they are dealing with family and struggling to detach with love. Compliments on my empathy with healthy boundaries. They view my journey in a new light. Moved by my words related to #HealthyBoundaries is #SelfCare. Powerful. A shift in perspective. External to internal. Another coachable client. They ask me to hold them accountable for harming themselves. I offer to teach them how to hold themselves accountable. After my 6-week coaching programme, the client goes through massive shifts. Growth is painful, then beautiful. Currently her own boss and protecting her space as fiercely as she once protected others. External to internal shift…
And then I step back and question whether or not I need to redo my website. Bring more clarity to what services I offer? The ironic part, I don’t want to tell people what type of life to live. I want to inspire them to walk into their own greatness. I’m an energy worker. I can shift energy with great ease but how does one articulate the various forms of energy work? I’m working through this perception. Is this a way that I’m sabotaging myself? Worth evaluating and also celebrating… Lack of clarity in services offered allows some of the most magical clients/projects.
Last week my soul connected with another. Today, I embrace a collaboration of making a star wheel. It’s easy for me to share the story with my community. It could easily help bring visibility to my friend. At the end of the day, the people that acknowledge the gifts of others are the people I’m gravitating towards. These are my people. Prayers go up, blessings come down.
Magic happens when surrounded by magical people. I’m on a flow of creating, spreading, and embracing magic… and then I spot check myself. Unplugging from the matrix… and creating magic with kindred souls. Everyone helping everyone. Sharing and honouring gifts… shifting from external to internal.
Photo Credit: Uncle Mac at Cosmic Bling Baby.
#MentalHealthAwareness #SelfCare #EnergyWork #SelfHealers #Aligned #Resilience