I do not negotiate with terrorists.

I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into my writing these last few weeks. Most of the words are not public… I reached some new territory for my processing and needed to give myself some personal space. I have found that writing makes me vulnerable and I maintain balance by sharing, observing, sharing, observing, sharing…Continue reading “I do not negotiate with terrorists.”

Poop + Sugar ≠ Brownies

Building Block: ROSE-COLORED LENS It took me YEARS to build a rose-colored lens. It was not easy to train my mind to find the good in every situation. I can laugh because some people call it a silver lining. Others call it annoying optimism. For me, having that rose-colored lens allowed me to believe thatContinue reading “Poop + Sugar ≠ Brownies”

The day I said Good-bye to Fuckwits

My freewriting challenge is over. I’m conflicted on how to feel. Part of me feels a sense of satisfaction for completing such a [vulnerable] goal. It’s not easy to reveal my morning thoughts… especially when I am still re-wiring my mind from narcissistic abuse. I have good days but mostly, I still challenge my thinking.Continue reading “The day I said Good-bye to Fuckwits”

MIA. Drug Dealers. White Skirts. Lovers.

Day 30. Freewriting. I remember the first time. The first time that I didn’t know what to do. I emailed my parents and assured them that I was OK. It was a lie because I really didn’t know what I wanted. I knew that I needed space. I couldn’t breathe. I walked through my 2-bedroomContinue reading “MIA. Drug Dealers. White Skirts. Lovers.”

Illness. Process. Purify. Project. Wellness.

Day 29. Freewriting. Thinking about mental wellness. I’ve shifted my thinking on mental wellness. The difference between ill to well is going from I to WE… takes a village. Kind of. Whether I am bipolar or not is kind of irrelevant. Whether I have anger issues is also irrelevant. So what if I wear myContinue reading “Illness. Process. Purify. Project. Wellness.”

Hurt is anger’s annoying neighbor

Day 28. Freewriting. Love is the strongest emotion I possess. Sometimes I think that anger is my go-to but every day I’m reminded that I’m just fooling myself and it’s actually LOVE. Love is my go to. Some people say that anger is the absence of love but I think that anger is actually hurtContinue reading “Hurt is anger’s annoying neighbor”

I hope. I hope. I hope.

Day 27. Freewriting. When it comes to me, I never hope. I just set a goal and refuse to stop until it’s accomplished. I fail forward. I fail often. Honestly, I believe the only true failure is giving up. Perhaps that’s why I struggle to let go. I think of it as a failure. MyContinue reading “I hope. I hope. I hope.”

Lawyers. Parenting. Loose lips and building blocks.

Day 26. Freewriting. I’m not even going to lie. This month has been super challenging. Welcoming my softer emotions is new territory. My typical way of dealing with pain (hurt) is to block all ways of contact. Part is because seeing the person that hurt me is unbearable. Part is because I don’t trust myself.Continue reading “Lawyers. Parenting. Loose lips and building blocks.”

words to build. words to break.

Day 10. Freewriting. Connectedness. Words are so important. Thoughts, words, energy, accomplishments… they are all connected in some way. Everything is important… my morning freewriting (stuff I share on my blog) has been magical to help identify some kinks in my armour. Perfect warm-up exercise for my deep dive into my emotions as well. LastContinue reading “words to build. words to break.”

Poem: Do you know how it feels

Do you know how it feels when every part of your being says NO but your heart says JUST ONE MORE CHANCE Do you know how it feels when you use language like “You need help” or “You are embarrassing yourself” Do you know how it feels not being able to SLEEP because your mindContinue reading “Poem: Do you know how it feels”