Truth: Is it about Relating or about Control?

Truth. What is Truth? Is your perception of truth, truth? Or is the perception of another’s truth, truth? Perhaps the actual truth is somewhere in the middle? I’m not sure. Perhaps life is actually all about dancing in the grey. Being black and white is a matter of perception… or is it about control? Can we honour the perception of our reality whilst also recognising the perception of another’s reality?

I’ve recently finished a wave of three. And now comes the lesson to share: perception of truth and our attachment to the perception.

Normalised behaviour in society

Society has [unfortunately] created a system to reward those who deceive others. Some can say it’s nothing more than a game of survival of the fittest. Some can play the victim card with ‘why can’t everyone just be honest?’ and then there are those who sit back and observe as everything unfolds. Attached to nothing. NO expectation of ethical behaviour. NO desired outcome. Simply observe and accept things as they are.

Reflective questions: why has society rewarded the deception of others as opposed to supporting the mental health and emotional wellbeing of the individual? Why do we value toxic masculinity (stoicism)? Mental Health is still somewhat taboo (gaslighting is not a household term, yet)? and Expressing emotions tend to result in labels (name-calling) or toxic positivity (dismissive)? Society values what can be gained in the material world as opposed to the peace within the Being world (world of Self).

Co-Existing Realities

The beauty in the world is knowing reality is based on experience. Each person has a different reality. On a simple level, 2 people can lay in the grass and watch the clouds. The experiences are thought to be similar as externally, both are sitting in the grass and watching the “same” clouds, but internally, their experience can be much different. One could be lost in thought and the clouds are representations of the dialogue within. The other could be oblivious to the actual clouds and simply getting lost in the crispness of the air, the dancing of leaves, or the buzz of insects nearby.

Applying this to interpersonal interactions, relationships can be tricky simply because the experience of one is not always the same as the experience of the other. The tug of war to be seen, heard, and acknowledged tends to be the downfall. Learned behaviour sides with acting out in destructive ways as opposed to actually sharing an experience for what it is.

For example, I’m a life coach. I attract all kinds of people. Most will hire me for my services and honour my gifts to the world. On occasion, others will fake friendship or even a relationship to be close to me. The rare occasion, business partners will offer things without any real intention to deliver. None are wrong, per say, it’s a matter of awareness and accepting truth. Even if it’s my perception of truth.

Are we strong enough to challenge our bias, especially towards Self? Are we aware of our own conditioning? Is a truth of conditioning too much for us to understand? At what point do we prioritise intentions before actions? Many people will say, ‘we judge ourselves based on intentions and we judge others based on actions.” Is this actually true?

Living in four different countries, it’s easier for me to understand society conditioning. Each country has it’s own way / set of values and how to condition the masses and normalise behaviour. This experience is the baseline for my coaching niche, resilience.

You are able to strengthen resilience once you are able to accept things for what they are, not what you want them to be. You can frame this as radical truth, attachment, Self-Mastery or cling factor. It’s all the same.

Pain is Inevidable, Suffering is Optional

I believe our unwillingness to acknowledge multiple realities can exist is what keeps us in unhealthy situations. Again, society wants us to focus on the intention rather than the execution. Society wants us to believe the words and ignore the actions. We are shamed into walking away from a person ‘in need’ without challenging whether the person in need is actually willing to empower themself.

Suffering occurs when we are unwilling to accept the truth. Suffering is when we try to control a situation for what we want as opposed to what it actually is. A simple moment when we forget to challenge our perception. A moment to remember multiple realities can co-exist. Fundamentally, we know this. Emotionally, do we believe this?

We can only meet others as deep as we are willing to meet ourselves. This video clip is another example of the sometimes [painful] process of Self-Discovery.