Upgrades are happening in so many ways. Causing me to pause and simply relish in the moment. Gosh, the last few years have been a challenge. A heart-wrenching… soul-crushing… challenge. Some days felt like I was pushing a car uphill and other times, it felt like I was being pushed off a cliff. Finding the middle ground was.not.easy.
My international family has been creeping out in mysterious ways. Reminding me of their presence. Asking if I’ve accomplished what I was intending to accomplish. Dropping links for flights back to Asia. Complimenting my work… and asking when I’m going to get back to play. My community is very funny. And supportive. And over the last few weeks, the main concept that I realised I missed the most is how I was constantly learning from people in my community. To be part of my family, it was essential to do a deep dive into something completely foreign to me. I’m a self-proclaimed professional dabbler so finding something that I haven’t experienced can sometimes be a bit of a challenge. No arrogance, just truth that I have a curious mind and a short attention span for doing things on repeat.
As all the pieces come together, I’m stable in most aspects of my world. Steady build mode. Confident with my group fitness. Finally hitting that sweet spot of a devilish grin to my class with ‘ohhh yeah, this is my FAVOURITE move’ as we do a choreographed push-up challenge or side kicks that challenge both stability AND endurance. The sweet spot where your body acknowledges it’s build time. Sweat is fat crying. All toxic things are released. Adrenaline is pumping. Endorphins make an appearance. And before I know it, the entire class is looking at me with a look of ‘I’m glad I showed up’ and a dash of ‘I’m going to crush this workout’. Corporate powerhouses applying their mental tenacity to physical fitness. Life is so good!
My coaching business took a few month breather. I pulled back on clients so I had time for a course and do a bit of a reset. The aspect of me that I get complimented on most is my energy… and so I needed to reset to see what type of coaching course I wanted to focus on for this next chapter.
Resilience. Emotional Resilience. From quarter mile sprinter to 12-hour Ironman finisher. From climbing corporate ladders to creating a purpose driven life. From being people pleaser to Be Your Own Hero. So many coaching programmes. Based on experience. Sharing what I know. Sharing what I lived. Sharing what I have brought into this world. Resilience on so many levels. Having a full heart and calm mind and a cheeky soul. Without the cheeky soul, I would not have experienced nearly as much as I have thus far. Truly blessed.
The best part… my international family knows. They knew before I knew. They never once questioned my sanity or my ability to crush this current goal, emotional resilience. Journey to Peace… Knowing that I would struggle with quantifying success. Do I feel good? Yes! Do I still miss my family? HECK YES!! Am I at peace?! I think so. Each day, I get closer. I’m still coming to terms with everything. I’m finally to a point where I know that my family loves me in their own way. Generational trauma is not easy. I started with justifying behaviour. They are who they are. I processed anger. Resentment. Fear. Betrayal. and all sorts of things… to build a foundation where I could cultivate peace. Love. Understanding. Forgiveness. First forgiveness to self for not holding space for me. For forgetting to put on my oxygen mask before helping others. It still feels strange to put myself first. It feels selfish. It feels lumpy. But each day it gets easier. NO is a complete sentence. I’m in a situation where I get to practice this… and hold space for truth. For years, I laughed whilst saying NO to others. I would say NO and take a deep breath. What was to follow was either a truth that they are living up to their potential (and my standards) or a truth that I was in Jess world and saw magic in others before they saw it in themselves… sometimes resulting in a growing pain. Both truths are OK. This is the joy of life. To meet people where they are…
The journey continues…
#Resilience #Trauma #Recovery #SelfCare #EmotionalAbuse #DomesticViolence #OneDayAtATime #JourneyToPeace