My morning is filled with tests of all sorts. More unheralded people from my childhood hometown are coming out to test me. To reveal parts of me that need additional healing. A constant struggle on where to focus. Am I continuing to focus on my wellness? Am I being kind to myself? One of my main messages related to DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is that silence is acceptance. I promised myself to always hit publish, even when I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. Because, well, it’s important for me to raise the collective consciousness on ABUSE BY PROXY and WHY it’s so incredibly important to continue your own journey of self-discovery. I realise that I’m not from this world and I speak on a bunch of topics that only half make sense to my readers. I’m perfectly OK with being misunderstood. The ironic part is the ONLY reason why people misunderstand me is because they still keep me in a bucket of crushing goals and pissing rainbows. When you think of Jessica Corvo, you think of someone always in your corner. Someone who’s smile can brighten up a room. Someone that makes life just a bit brighter in some small or large way. Very few take the time to learn HOW I’m able to do this. Or WHY I am the way that I am. Truth of the matter is, my resilience is because my soul is kind of a butthead and keeps allowing certain patterns to rise. The constant test is to see if my response/reaction has changed. This morning, it did. I’m tempted to sharing an exchange for 2 reasons, 1. to put a stop to abuse and humiliate someone trying to cause me harm (this is my ego) and 2. to teach others on the small nuances of ABUSE and what it means to ABUSE others. This is a perfect example of FLYING MONKEY or ABUSE BY PROXY. So many people cause harm then call me all sorts of names for calling out the toxic behaviour. It’s hilarious that this test presents itself when my weekly focus is on making amends. I’m making amends with myself for allowing such unhealed people access to me for so long.
Dear People from Downers Grove, before you reach out to me, ask yourself WHY you are asking something. WHY are you sharing something? And more importantly, if you believe in karma because throwing poop is funny to you but it’s harmful to others. I can observe my feelings and not become my emotions. I thanked this person for being a test and I know he doesn’t understand. I can observe feeling a certain way but I’m not becoming that way. In the end, my focus isn’t on the teacher but the lesson. Being given information about my family makes me feel nothing. My focus was redirected to my freckles. My reaction was to detach and teach. Then to maintain a healthy boundary. And now a few minutes later, I’m in a tug of war to release the identity of this person. Justifying behaviours on all sides. That’s the magic that is me. I can see multiple perspectives simultaneously. It’s simply a matter of if I choose to view the abuser as a hurting person. For why should they be allowed to step into my lane and throw poop at me? Hmmm. Is it a sign of attachment if I release the name of this new found abuser? I mean, they started with a compliment, then shifted to talk about my family. Then once called out, pushed in defiance that they are NOT an abuser. Then put me on block. Childlike behaviour. Releasing the name will shift the focus. Venom is fatal. Am I that person that wants others to poke and prod to force growth of another? Isn’t it ego that has triggering my desire to protect myself and drop a name? My entire conversation series has been sharing exchanges to inspire others to see a different perspective. Oh people from Downers Grove, the average person from Downers Grove is absolute garbage. I can say this with absolute certainty because well, I get unhealed people throwing their garbage at me on the daily.
And funny enough, the people from Downers Grove that I actually have ANY respect for… it’s interesting how they have limited interactions with others that we grew up with. Hmm… so many things to observe. For right now, I’m honouring the fact that the teachers are coming in waves. I’m keeping my heart open and my mind focused. Slight sidesteps on the injustice of it all but mostly on the new information that was offered, unsolicited. My family home is being sold. My first reaction wasn’t I hope my biological father is OK. I feel nothing. It’s just a sense of well, another chapter is closing. things have become more real. At the end of the day, it’s another nugget of truth. Abusive people will ask questions about others and pretend like nothing is wrong. I’m a healing person, I will flat out ask why are you sharing unsolicited information with me? People love it when I make them feel good and the resent me for holding up a mirror.
I make ZERO apologies for my shift. It is NOT ok to cause harm to others. There is something in the water in Downers Grove. I’m convinced of it. *facepalm*
#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #AbuseByProxy #FlyingMonkey #IgnoranceIsAChoice #SelfCare #Recovery #DomesticViolence #OneDayAtATime #LettingGo #Breathe #ObserveTheBody #MasterTheMind #JourneyToPeace
Category: RamblesTags: Abuse by Proxy, Breathe, Domestic Violence, Flying Monkey, Ignorance is a choice, journey to peace, letting go, Mental Healthy Awareness Month, One Day At A TIme, Recovery, Self Care