The shift finally happened… the final shift that is allowing me to let go. The shift that throws me from let go to peace. The most powerful shift of this entire journey… A shift that caused my conscious and subconscious to finally align. Connect. Heal.
Dreams are a way in which your subconscious mind (soul) communicates with your conscious mind (body). I woke up at 5am from a night tremor. My entire family was attacking me. Rather than push back, I stood still. I acknowledged their presence and held my ground. The longer I held my ground, the taller I grew. Perhaps the smaller they shrunk? I’m not sure. The last time that I had a dream about family I was riding my bike from Downers Grove to Aurora. There were hurdles but I made it. In that dream, I was frustrated and felt lost. This dream, last night’s dream was calm and I had a presence.
There is no lost love with my family. I pity them. I love them because they are my family but in no way do I allow them to cause me harm. I am not angry with them for treating me the way they treat me because I understand. I simply refuse to allow it to continue. The last few days, I’ve been battling with guilt towards helping my mother but I’ve let that go. I cannot be guilted into helping anyone. If they want help, they must help themselves. I can offer guidance and full support but I cannot do the work for them. They must put in the work. That is one of the hardest things to say and feel towards someone that you have chronically protected.
The shift happened. The big storm that I was waiting for finally arrived. Or perhaps it’s the fact that I am finally dancing in the storm…
Either way, this conversation between my subconscious and conscious was exactly what my heart needed. It’s my heart finally accepting and letting go of what I thought was always real. It’s my heart being at peace with the dysfunction because it no longer has a hold over me.
I’m going to take it very easy on myself the next few weeks to ensure this shift is permanent and not temporary.
My head and my heart are finally on the same page. My subconscious and conscious minds are at peace. Everything is as it’s meant to be… and so much more.
#WhyIWrite #MentalWellness #DomesticVIolence #EmotionalAbuse #Rewiring #Healing #JourneyToPeace #MssionAccomplished