I’ve been thinking about the current alignment of the planets and the moon… apparently, Mercury is in retrograde (again)? I’m not 100% sure but this seems to be code for the abundance of energy being thrown around!
I’ve been learning about how some people are empowered and others are using this energy to cause trouble. To each is own. Whatever makes people happy [as long as it’s not at the cost of another’s peace]. I’m going to use the energy for some self-acknowledgment and outline some of the benefits of my letters of gratitude. These benefits have been made very clear in the last few days…
My bad memory. On numerous occasions, I’ve read that the secret to happiness is a bad memory. Truth be told, even if someone wrongs me, I actively seek forgiveness to let go. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that I have forgotten, it just means that I no longer allow something to bother me. It’s completely for me, not them. One of the ways that I’m able to find forgiveness is by finding the lesson. The lesson is identified through my letter of gratitude… thanking someone for teaching me something or helping me grow mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually is a way of life. Having a fantastic life starts with having a grateful heart.
My poor boundary setting. I still struggle with boundaries. I personally do not think that boundaries need to be set. A basic quality of humanity should be to respect others. When you respect others, there isn’t a need to identify boundaries because they are already being followed. Some of the recipients of my letters of gratitude are because they crossed a boundary. They abused me, disrespected me, lied to me, or generally violated me in some way after I specifically asked them to stop. My letters of gratitude call out behaviour in an introspective way “thank you for helping me learn what I do not like” rather than “you are rude” type of way.
My ability to love. My spirit is super strong. My heart is pure because of the strength of my spirit. Purity of heart is how I’m able to love others. I’m not talking about being in love with others. I’m talking about being present. Giving my time without expectation. Sharing words that build. Sharing thoughts that allow others to reflect and grow. Sometimes judging but always in a way that challenges growth because, in my heart, I just want to see people also living life to the fullest. Very often, I’m told that I see people when they feel invisible. I think that’s meant to be a compliment…
My ability to see spirits rather than bodies. Sure, I often enjoy gazing at the meatheads at the gym. I am also a sucker for broad shoulders and calloused hands (deep down it makes me feel secure when I see a man’s man that can build me something if the need arises). But that’s all smoke and mirrors because I can see souls. I can see when people are being authentic. I can feel when someone is hurting. My heart gets pulled in a number of ways to help others. I don’t overthink, I just jump in to help. The pitfall is that narcissists/sociopaths/psychopaths all have severe unresolved pain and their soul is intoxicating. I have to remind myself that helping them is bad karma – they need to help themselves before engaging with me. I can inspire but should never actually engage.
My ability to consume & process. My mind is able to process an abnormal amount of things (thanks to over a decade of severe trauma). I do not admit this with ego. It’s actually a coping mechanism. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy but have converted something tragic into a tool. Severe trauma put me into survival mode. Survival mode is high anxiety and high adrenaline. I call it an addiction to cortisol (stress hormone). I have proven the ability to complete complex tasks under an absurd amount of stress because that’s my ‘normal operating state’. This state makes me difficult to relate but I’ve been able to resonate with the right people. I understand that I’m in the minority for a number of my accomplishments and that’s ok. I do not reference to brag, just to acknowledge that my ‘norm’ is slightly higher than the norm. I have extremely high expectations of myself and this part of my journey is to not set stretch goals as an attempt to just observe… and more importantly, be more gentle with myself.
If that makes sense.
So my letters of gratitude are not just to spread love and give others the warm fuzzies. It’s also helping me appreciate my softness. It helps me to remember things that I’ve let go. It helps me accept things about myself. And I’m starting to improve at telling people no. I might elaborate on the power of ‘NO’ in another blog post. Today, I acknowledge the hidden and potentially self-serving benefits of my letters of gratitude.
#WhyIWrite #MentalWellness #Writer #LettersOfGratitude #WednesdayGratitude