Dear Kathleen,
Everything in life is by design. It was a serendipity that our paths crossed. I feel blessed that I was open and receptive to understand the purpose for our meeting.
On one level, you were a positive reinforcement that I am not crazypants. Shifting from a world of mindful people to a world of emotionally charged people has come with a huge learning. I’ve been actively seeking other people of truth. People that trust their inside voice rather than the screams of the masses. And you are undoubtedly a speaker of truth.
I struggle to sit still. Being still is what my soul needs but it’s not an easy task. I enjoy being useful. Sitting still makes me feel like a burden and I need to embrace and convert this feeling. I enjoy accomplishing goals. I enjoy keeping busy. It wasn’t until last year that I accepted that my busy-ness was just my way of being avoidant. Everything in life is a double-edged sword so processing stillness leaves me vulnerable. I’m not a fan of making myself vulnerable. At the start of this unveiling, vulnerability = weakness. 7 months later, vulnerability = strength. Through this vulnerability, I have found more unnecessary criticism than support. On a good day, I can rationalise that its part of the learning curve and opinions are not welcomed. On a challenging day, I’m back in my fog and gobbing onto every single criticism in hopes to fix whatever it is that is ‘wrong’ with me. I accept that my challenge is to detach from others, not allowing their opinions affect my self-worth. I can manage with ease from most, the kink in my armour is family.
Our paths crossed exactly when I needed to hear that it’s OK to not work. It’s OK to focus on my healing. It’s OK to put myself first. And not just that it’s OK but you were glad to see me taking care of me. During a time when I’m seriously contemplating the quality of people I’ve allowed access to me, you have reinforced that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. So, thank you.
Addressing emotional and mental abuse is not a dinnertime discussion. It’s not easy to be in the center of the storm and focus on my internal voice. Sometimes, the single presence of “Me too” is all that is needed…without words.
So thank you. Thank you for also being a seeker of truth. Thank you for knowing how I’m feeling (externally – well accomplished / internally – feeling useless). Thank you for echoing all things that are a part of my balanced world. Thank you for knowing family guilt. Thank you for being a strong example of resilience. Thank you for speaking to my soul – your comment asking if I was a motivational speaker tugged on a heart string that just felt good. Jumping on stage is a medium term goal. Being a speaker of wellness despite prolonged abuse is a mission. Healing myself to inspire others is my purpose. I didn’t share those goals but somehow you knew. You just knew what seed to water and what comment my soul needed to hear. So thank you. Thank you for being an Earth Angel. Thank you for recognizing my soul.
Thank you for being in a space to exchange ideas on nutrition, spirituality, chakras, spiritual boundaries, cleansing, healing, proximity, letting go, forgiveness, and allowing me to use you to make sense of what I believe I recently went through; kundalini awakening. Most times, conversations with others are a way that I can make sense of things happening on the inside. It’s just a matter of having conversations with the right people.
Thank you for being the right person. The right person at the right time. Thank you for being a kindred soul. Thank you for speaking Butterfly. Thank you for being someone that has never met a stranger.
You are beautiful in every sense of the word.
With love,
Jess
#LetterOfGratitude #KindredSoul #Gratitude #Growth #Love #Soulship #LOA #GoodVibes