Poop + Sugar ≠ Brownies

Building Block: ROSE-COLORED LENS

It took me YEARS to build a rose-colored lens. It was not easy to train my mind to find the good in every situation. I can laugh because some people call it a silver lining. Others call it annoying optimism. For me, having that rose-colored lens allowed me to believe that everything was a misunderstanding. It was my place of denial. It was hoping for the best… we are nothing if we cannot hope for the best? At least, my world was filled with hope. Hope allowed me to fan my own light…

Ripping off my own mask (or cracking my rose-colored lens) allowed me to see situations as: “Poop is poop. You cannot take poop, add sugar and call it a brownie. It’s still poop.”

^ If there is only ONE quote that I’m remembered for, I hope this is it. Jessica Marie Corvo, the eternal optimist was able to crack her glass and finally see situations for what they are, not what she wished they were. Her anthem changed from empowering quotes of famous people to her own truth: Poop is poop. You cannot take poop, add sugar and call it a brownie. It’s still poop.

That is what I want to be known for. The depth of my love. The purity of my heart. The clarity of my head. Or maybe just the simplicity of my words.

* * *

Maintaining a rose-colored lens is imperative for creating space for magic to happen. It was not OK that I was dealing with abuse but as long as I wasn’t in the exact moment, then I wasn’t going to allow it space in my world. I didn’t want to allow previous experiences to cloud future experiences. I was successful at packing it away. I’m at the tail end of dealing with my demons. I didn’t ask for this. It wasn’t anything of my doing. My only fault was being born or breathing in the presence of people that didn’t value my existence. And for that, I will never be defeated. I still have more work to do but I have cracked that rose-colored glass… Emotions are easier to manage when the head is on board. My heart is finally jumping on board. Finally.

My rose-colored lens is going to be applied to me. It’s time for the magic to come back. Letting people go does not mean that I don’t love them. It just means that I need to work on loving myself a bit more before helping them.

People that are incapable vs unwilling. This is the biggest tug of war with mental illness (at least in my world). The word incapable is using the rose-colored lens. It’s hope that the illness is the driving force and how could anyone not have compassion for someone suffering?

The journey continues…

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