Letter of Gratitude: Bonnie​

Dear Bonnie,

We have never met in person but our souls crossed paths on Facebook. You commented on a post that encouraged people to embrace ALL emotions, not just the pleasant ones. Of all the comments, yours resonated with me for a number of reasons that I did not know at the time…

Your intention was a VERY well-timed reminder for me and my journey. I’ve recently moved back to my childhood town after living halfway across the globe (Asia) for 11 years. My reputation in my hometown was Homecoming Princess and I was voted ‘most friendly’ and ‘biggest heartbreaker’. I never spoke out against abuse. I simply smiled and found other things to invest my energy. I realized​ that avoiding abuse did not solve the problem. So now I’m more combative. My career is in PR so I mostly have the tact to engage in a non-emotional state of mind (but abuse/mental illness is something that I hold close to my heart so I forgive myself if I lose the plot from time to time). My reputation in Asia is Chili Padi. It basically means that I’m tiny and effective. Sharing my empowered reputation (Asia) with my old doormat reputation (USA) has been a challenge. Over the months, I’ve responded to public messages (same as you with grace). A few weeks ago, the public comments turned into DMs and so I opted to use a few as examples of various forms of abuse (namecalling and then ignoring boundaries). I share this because I was called bipolar for not being the accommodating doormat that I was once known for.

I’m [finally] in a great place where people have increased their awareness before engaging. I might not be loved but I will be respected. Yesterday, I decided to shift from Chili Padi to Rainbow Dancer. I shared my rainbow epiphany with you. This realization hit me in the middle of a spin session. The smile that came over my face with a few racing thoughts: ‘ALL my emotions are justifiable and heck, even rainbows need BOTH sunshine and storms. Who can ever judge a rainbow for either? Both are ingredients for something magical…’

Lots more words can be shared but I know that you feel the amount of love and gratitude in the words selected. So thank you.

Thank you for knowing the reference for rainbows. Thank you for understanding the destruction of paper cuts. Thank you for being a promoter of Awareness. Thank you for being brave to encourage people to question ‘the norm’. Thank you for being one heck of a PR person – talking about sensitive issues with such grace is a SUPERHERO power. Really. Thank you for validating a million thoughts that have been racing through my head and tugging at my heartstrings. Yesterday, I didn’t know what compelled me to respond to your comment but today I understand. I fully support (and reinforce) all your sentiments about awareness, self-love, external validation, and inner strength.

Thank you for being a positive affirmation and a breath of fresh air.

With light and love,
Jess​

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