Day 7. Freewriting. As I continue to remove the one-sided friendships, I’m offered a unique opportunity to grow my “letting go” muscle. A few weeks ago, a “friend” offered to check out my blog and give some feedback (I had just switched up a few things and wanted a second opinion on my flow and organisation). His intentions have been historically cloudy so I opted to create an opportunity to show either alignment or disharmony with his words and actions. He agreed to help and then went quiet. I waited 3 weeks then reached out. He apologized for being busy with work the last few days then asked for the link to my blog. My last words to him were “Oh, message well received, Have a delightful week” and my last thought about him will be my letter of gratitude. Rather than send privately, I’m using my morning freewriting session to let go. So without further delay…
Each week, I write a letter to someone. Everyone is a teacher and helps us grow in some way. Sometimes the lesson is obvious and other times, it’s a slow burn. You were a combination of both.
We met when I was on a project in Jakarta. You claimed to be a networker but really, you were trying to date. I always struggle to make this judgment because I find it sad on two levels; 1. it means that my father was right and boys and girls cannot be just friends and 2. it means that I need to spot check my ego, not everyone respects me and I shouldn’t assume as much. Either way, I quickly outlined that I was only offering you friendship. I wish that you accepted my terms.
Over the years, you have laughed at my bluntness and did your best to reinforce that you just wanted friendship. You have done your best to include me in your healing journey from a heartbreak, ask me to meet you for a hiking trip and even engage my opinion on physical activity (convert fat into muscle).
I try my best not to judge people but you were a reminder that [when used correctly] judgments are useful and I should always trust my gut. I knew your intentions straight away (obvious lesson) and allowed you space in my world because I believed the lies you told yourself (slow burn).
I appreciate you being a reminder to always trust my gut instinct when dealing with others. I cannot remember a time when you offered pure friendship. Friendship was only offered when it benefited you in some way. This is a sad part of humanity but also a very relevant concept for me to understand. Thank you for being a statistic in my on-going experiment of human interaction.
Thank you for the lesson. Thank you for the ignorance. Thank you for reminding me to ignore the words and always focus on the actions. Thank you for being you. You are perfect as you are and I’m grateful our paths crossed when they did. Everything is exactly as it should be. Thank you for helping me grow a few muscles, to follow my gut and to practice letting go (without confrontation). hahaha.
Anyways, I close this circle with love and positive intention.
#LetterOfGratitude #Friendship #Love #LettingGo #WhyIWrite #MentalWellness #JourneyToPeace