i AM the perfect drug. ABUSE me and I will DESTROY you.

Day 5. Freewriting. Self-criticism -> Self-Love. Everyone has parts of them that they wish to change or soften. My first thought is what would I change about me?

*5 seconds later* N.o.t.h.i.n.g.

I’m absolutely perfect. I don’t have imperfections. I have quirks. I KNOW that I have pure intentions so any misunderstandings come from the other side, not from me. Well, maybe I’m awkward and can soften my execution. Wait, scratch that, I’m awesome! EVERYTHING is done with heart. The good. The great. The show-stopping-amazing. It’s sometimes messy but it’s always beautiful. I assure you there is a reason behind every.single.quirk.

Strengthen my sense of self. Check.

Find my voice. Check.

Turn a whisper into a ROAR. In progress … almost there

* * *

ABC’s of Jessica Corvo

A. I have serious difficulty turning down athletic challenges. I know my limits, I’m joking. I have ZERO limits for athletic challenges! Bring.it.on.

B. Mel Bochner is my favourite artist. I own 2 of his pieces, Amazing and Head Honcho. His studio is in NYC and marketers at Two Palms are absolutely delightful!

C. Corned-beef hash with 2 fried eggs is my breakfast go-to. Add some sweet potatoes and I’m completely weak in the knees! This dish is magical.

D. If I invite you to a diner, it means I trust you and have let my guard down, completely. Never abuse this opportunity. It’s not made to everyone.

E. I’m extremely mindful of my energy. I do my best to follow my intuition and let go of things that no longer serve me.

F. I require food every few hours. Real food, not snacks. During training months, I consume 5 meals/day.

G. My life revolves around setting and crushing stretch goals. Tell me something cannot be done and I’ll most likely push it to the top of my list, just because.

H. My heart is typically open. It’s still slightly guarded but it’s nearly back to normal.

I. The Ironman community has space in my heart. Accepting of who they are today and striving for a better version tomorrow.

J. My momma bear’s puppy, Jax has stolen my heart. I can spend hours cuddling with this bundle of joy. I love his sassy side. He is my love bug.

K. Kindness is the main quality I look for in other people.

L. Very few things beat a handwritten letter. At one point, my letters of gratitude were all handwritten. I wonder if anyone has kept their letters…

M. My mommabear is my favourite and also the most inspiring person I’ve ever met.

N. My soul needs to spend time in nature. It’s essential for my survival.

O. I’m like an onion. What you see is what you get but I go deep and I feel everything. Self-awareness is a double-edged sword.

P. My passion is unmatched. If I feel strongly about something, good luck changing my mind. When I set my sights on something, I don’t stop until my mission is accomplished.

Q. I’m constantly asking questions. Sometimes people think I’m trying to be funny but really, I’m just trying to learn. Everyone has the capacity to be a teacher.

R. A world of black & white is cold and dark … I much prefer residing in a world viewed through my rose-coloured lens.

S. I’m doing my best to bring out my sassiness. It’s an art to put people in their place in a classy and lighthearted manner.

T. My favourite classroom will always be travelling.

U. A used book is like a true friend: supportive, uplifting and reliable.

V. I’m a bit of a purist, one of my obsessions is vipassana. Observe the body, master the mind.

W. I seriously struggle to stay hydrated. My default weapon of choice is a Nalgene filled with tap water.

X. I love converting xenophobic people from a place of fear to a place of love. Sometimes I’m American. Other times I’m Chinese. On the rare occasion, I’m Italian. We WILL be friends by the end of a conversation.

Y. Call me juvenile but yellow buses remind me to always be a student. Stay humble because even with an abundance of experience, there is always something more to learn.

Z. Zero tolerance. I tend to overlook bad habits so I’m working on being savage in pursuit to build my muscle of zero tolerance. Main no-fly zones are things like rudeness, hate, aggression and objectification. If it’s not coming from a place of LOVE, I have zero tolerance. I think that’s very reasonable.

* * *

This challenge allowed me to embrace the side of me that I get heavily criticised, my emotions. Fundamentally, I know that my emotions are beautiful. Sometimes, I believe the lie and think that I’m unreasonable or too sensitive… At the end of the day, there is actually very little to criticise me on. Perfection is pointless. Life is meant to be messy, chaotic, beautiful and leave footprints on my heart. Thankfully, I’m now asking people to take off their shoes before walking into my house.

Jenny helps me shift from people pleaser to being unapologetic. I broke my freewriting rule and was listening to this whilst writing. Truthfully, I listened to this from the 5-second pause. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that my new spirit animal is a wildebeest. They are clumsy, rough and fierce. They leave others alone but if you mess with them or threaten their family, they will fight you to the death. LOUD. LOYAL. LOVING. Did you know that if a wildebeest feels threatened, they will even charge a lion to show them who’s boss? That’s so bad@ss! I like that. Last year was a Unicorn. I’m now a wildebeest.

#WhyIWrite #MentalWellness #DomesticViolence #EmotionalAbuse #SelfCritic #SelfLove #ABCofMe #Wildebeest #JourneyToPeace

 

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